For many parents, a looming IEP meeting causes waves of anxiety. We want our children to have access to the best possible education, but beneficial supports are rarely established quickly or easily. If the IEP process seems overwhelming, help is available. Here’s what local experts have to say about how to prepare more and stress less before an IEP meeting.
Forget about “getting it right.”
According to Moira Allbritton, a local mother of five and program specialist with Exceptional Family Resource Center, much of the stress leading up to a meeting comes from an unrealistic desire to create “the perfect IEP.” In truth, the IEP can (and should) be updated many times.
“The team is not trying to define services and supports that are ‘right’ or ‘wrong’,” Allbritton says. “The IEP document almost inevitably becomes more refined as the team learns more about what is effective for an individual, one-of-a-kind student.”
Preview pertinent information.
Ask to preview any new assessments and data prior to the meeting. It could be upsetting to learn that a child’s present levels are lower than expected. Learning this during the meeting might be overwhelming. Quality, collaborative decision-making is more likely to happen when parents have had time to process information ahead of time.
Express concerns in advance.
Communicate major concerns with the IEP team before the meeting. “When families save their worries for the IEP meeting, IEP teams are often surprised,” says Allbritton. “When people—even professionals—are surprised, they are less likely to respond favorably.”
Prepare a list.
According to Allan Roth, educational consultant with Alliance Resources & Associates, it is helpful to create a list of key items that need to be covered during the meeting. He recommends creating columns to show each item of concern:
- When it was discussed
- The district response
- Timeframe for any agreed upon actions
- Who is taking the agreed upon action
- When it will be reviewed
- Description of results
“Having such a list will help ensure that the IEP does more than simply note that the parent raised a concern without a district plan of action,” Roth says.
Get help before the meeting.
For free IEP resources, including workshops about the IEP process, check in with the Exceptional Family Resource Center (EFRC) and see our great list of tips at SanDiegoFamily.com. It can be beneficial to seek support from knowledgeable professionals to discuss concerns and desired outcomes. Roth also recommends watching videos about IEP meetings on YouTube. The more knowledgeable parents are about the process, the less anxious they will feel.
Bring a support person.
There may be times when an advocate is necessary, but any supportive person can be of service in a meeting. Invite a fellow parent with IEP experience. Ask if a family member can come along. An additional caring person in the room can help ease anxiety and keep the conversation on track.
Take a break, if needed.
It’s perfectly acceptable to step away from the meeting for a quick break. “When someone is under stress, it is difficult to fully engage with ideas,” says Allbritton. “Taking a couple minutes to regroup, reframe, process and breathe is a great strategy to use when you don’t know how to respond.”
Staff Shortages
School districts have experienced staffing shortages in all areas of special education. It’s OK for parents to ask their IEP team how the shortages are affecting their child’s services.
“When there is a key service that is lacking or severely reduced due to staffing shortages, discuss with the IEP team how it will be remedied,” says Roth. “Also, discuss compensatory education [if and when] the service is re-established.”
Anne Malinoski is a contributing writer and mother of two boys, one of whom has special needs.
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